


Lost my way

by bellemelody



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fantasy, Genderswap, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellemelody/pseuds/bellemelody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin was just a child when he learned his first life lesson: you just can't have everything you want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost my way

**Author's Note:**

> Will add tags later, with new characters and new moments in this story.
> 
> Thanks to Lulu for her help <3 All mistakes here are mine. 
> 
> Amazing banner by [kang-cat](http://kang-cat.deviantart.com/)
> 
>  

When you are a child, you look at the world with wide open eyes, waiting for wonderful and magic things to happen. Your world is small, and comfy, and all the people that matter to you are in it. Your world is your family.

Jin looks through the window at the quick-changing images outside, grey pictures of the big city before, and now green hills and the road taking them to a new place, a new home. He feels bouncy in anticipation of _everything_ new, new friends, new school and new life; his father said they would be happy there, _together_.

The wind blows through the open window near his mother, who's playing with her long hair of a ginger color that seems like fire under the sunlight. She is beautiful and young, and Jin used to think she was like the princesses in fairy tales, and that he was her little knight. He was a baby back then, but she likes to remind him when she sees him playing with his little sword, saving the world in his room again and again.

She's humming some melody, echoing the radio. Her voice is soft, and Jin loves it when she sings him lullabies. He's already going to school, but nevertheless he sleeps better after her songs.

The green hills of before are gone, and now there's a street, with neat rows of clean houses on both sides. They look just like in his books, nice and tidy. He has so many questions: where is their new house, will he find new friends here, will they like him, can he play soccer here, where is his new school...

The grass near the houses is green, and the fences white. His father said this village will be their new home because he's found work here. Jin knows his mother doesn’t like the idea of living in a small town because she thinks it’s _boring_ – he's not sure what she means by that. Maybe in this "boring" place there are no kids? Or the school lasts all year long, without holidays? He bites his lower lip with his face glued to the car window, but the scenery isn't scary at all, not the way he expected it to be.

Jin eyes the boys curiously, some are playing with a ball in the neighbor's house's garden, others are riding bikes with bright headlights. Maybe he'll find a friend here after all? Jin doesn’t like playing alone, even the idea of it makes him sad.

The house is big and bright, with soft grass near the entrance, still a bit wet from the watering. Jin's socks are getting soaked, so he runs inside quickly to find his room, and then he just feels happy running around this house with pastel painted walls and furniture that's wrapped in blankets.

 His new house.

 He looks back at his parents who are standing at the threshold. His father, the tall man with big hands and broad shoulders, has a moustache so thick it always makes Jin giggle when he tries to kiss him; it tickles. He's smiling now, putting his large hand on Jin’s mother's waist, letting her take the first step because she's like a princess and this is their castle now. She's beautiful, and Jin wants to buy her a real crown when he's older – like ten. When you're ten, almost everything is possible, he thinks.

The house has this special smell, like dust mixed with something new. It  makes him sneeze a few times. After running all around inside the house, he can’t wait to do the same in the garden. His dad bought him a ball with colorful turtles on it at the last gas station, because Jin was tired and whiny and couldn't sit still during the long ride.

Jin tosses up the ball in his hands leaving the house. He looks at the big garden, and the new bike that's there already, in excitement; his father bought it for his last birthday, now he's seven years old and should be able to ride it without any help or training wheels, he hopes he'll learn to do it fast. It’s green with a basket; he can put his toys in there and leave on a long voyage. He has no idea where he'll go, but he is sure he must take with him something to eat; maybe he'll find new friends and adventures. Food is always important.

Jin walks along the road, looking at the other houses with gardens that look exactly like his. A little farther away there is a playground with children, some of them Jin’s age, and some just little babies playing in a sand box. Jin actually likes playing in the sand box a lot, but his mom always sighs heavily telling him he looks like a little pig and that she's tired of washing his clothes, just look at her poor hands, so he'd better find something else to do. Jin doesn’t like to see her upset and he likes her soft warm hands.

He looks curiously at the girls preparing a lunch dish with grass and bugs, thinking they're very silly, because everybody knows it’s forbidden to eat grass and bugs or your tummy will ache afterward. Jin knows this very well from his own sad experience.

The boys are playing and Jin feels like joining in. He leaves his ball with turtles under a bench and steps on to the field, the boys have a bigger ball, a golden one that looks like it's so much better than his own.

A new boy arrives a while later, when Jin's cheeks are already burning from the exercise and he's laughing because he was fast and hit a goal. He notices the boy when he sits on the nearest bench with an unhappy expression; his lips are pressed tight together, like he tries not to cry. The new boy wants to play with them, but the others aren't letting him.

“Because he's very small!” one of them says, a tall boy with curly hair.

“And slow!” Ryo says, a short boy who isn’t as fast as Jin.

“Like a turtle!” someone else adds, and they all start laughing and calling the boy a turtle.

At that very moment, Jin’s ball with the turtles rolls out from under the bench, making all the boys laugh loudly. Jin feels sorry for the new boy, with his eyes hidden as he observes the small ball near his thin bony legs.

He's thinner and paler than the others and looks like he’s easily offended. Jin knows very well that it’s wrong to pick on the small because they can’t protect themselves. In every fairy-tale, knights will fight for justice. Jin's mom says that those who pick on little boys or girls are useless, and can never become real knights.  

Jin leaves the field. He sits on the bench, next to the boy, his hair is black and he's holding Jin's ball with the turtles in his hands.

“Hi!” He says with a smile. The boy just furrows his bushy eyebrows trying not to look at him, even if he is curious too because Jin is new here.

“My name is Jin!” The other boy remains silent, his elbows are thin and angular, and his face is small and his knees covered in scratches.

“Maybe you want to play in the sandbox?” Jin asks with concern. “All the babies are playing there.” Sometimes Jin regrets not being a baby anymore; the sand box is so much fun.

“I’m not a baby, I’m 7 years old,” comes the grumpy response. Jin can’t hide his surprise, looking at the tiny boy in awe.

“Really?”

“Yes, and my younger brother is a baby, so he's playing in the sand box,” the boy says with the same voice, a little bit lower than Jin’s. He points at a baby with sand all over his clothes.

“What's your name?” Jin asks with a smile.

“Kazuya.” He is looking at Jin now, his eyes are serious and Jin thinks his nose looks funny. Jin touches the bump curiously and it earns another look from under furrowed eyebrows.

“Let’s play with my ball,” he says, staring at his feet.

“You ball has turtles.” It seems like Kazuya doesn’t trust the ball much, so Jin just tugs him along taking his hand.

“So what? Turtles are cute and colorful, I have red and green and blue turtles on my ball, maybe they're all the ball's prisoners and we're the knights who will save them and help them return to their Turtle Land.”

Kazuya looks like he doesn't quite believe his story, but Jin has already thrown the ball at him, and he catches it, throwing it back, and somewhere in the middle of that they start laughing and talking about turtles that have been rescued already.

The sun hides behind the trees and the houses on the other side of the road and Jin doesn’t have any desire to leave the playground. He can see his new house from here and knows that when the time comes his mother will call for him. She said that she has so much work it's better if he stays out the way, because there are too many heavy boxes and Jin is way too small and curious.

Not that Jin's in any way averse to spending time with Kazuya, who tells him about his family. He has three brothers, which must be really amazing because Jin has none, but Kazuya says it’s not so amazing because they often tease him. Jin looks at the small baby in the sandbox in astonishment, but Kazuya laughs and says that it's not that one but his older brothers who mock him.

The sky grows darker every minute and the children are leaving the playground. Kazuya is looking after his brother and Jin feels like he should help, and maybe even build a sand castle for the clumsy baby. He forgets all about his mother’s words, as happy as he is, playing with Kazuya and feeling the small grains of sand between his fingers.

He learns that small babies can be very dangerous when little Yuya puts a spider on Jin’s knee and Jin starts screaming and jumping because he's scared it may bite. The baby is giggling and bouncing, pointing his chubby finger at Jin, who's still shaking, and in the end Kazuya has to take the dangerous spider away with his bare hands.

Kazuya is very brave, and Jin feels like they're friends already.

Evening comes, and Kazuya leaves with his brother when one of the older ones comes to pick them up. Jin returns home alone, feeling strangely unhappy. His mother even forgets to scold him over the sand on his clothes when she notices the miserable look at his face.

“What’s wrong, Jin? Is everything ok?” she asks, concerned, taking off his sandals and helping him out of his dirty clothes.

Jin is silent, he doesn't yet have the words to express how unfair this world is. Only after dinner, when he feels full and warm and can’t fight all the emotions boiling inside his kid’s chest, and his lower lip starts trembling, he finally manages to express what's been bothering him.

“Why does everyone have a brother and I don't?”

He sees his parents exchange looks, awaiting an explanation.

“Jin, maybe you'll have a brother too, in the future. Who knows?” his father says with a smile and his mother just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want one in the future, I want one now!”

His father just ruffles Jin's hair. “Let’s eat dessert first and we'll discuss this later, ok, Jin?”

Jin looks at his dessert, still too deeply in thought.

“Anyone could take a baby from the sandbox and bring it home, why can’t I?” This is a very important question for Jin, because he'd never realized before how lame and sad it was to return home alone, until now, after seeing Kazuya surrounded by his brothers.

“Because they belong to other people and have their own houses to return to,” his mom explains patiently, but Jin just presses his lips together stubbornly, because in truth, he already has a plan to solve this problem.

“Tomorrow I will bring home a baby from the playground,” he announces, feeling very pleased with himself, but when he meets his mother's serious eyes, he adds, “Don’t worry, mom, he's not really a baby, he's 7 years old like me, just looks like a little baby. Kazuya will be my brother.”

His father starts laughing.

“Who is Kazuya, your new friend?” he asks with a wide smile and Jin thinks hopefully that maybe his father likes this idea as well, he always wanted another kid after all. His mother interrupts them.

“Jin, think about his mother and how sad she'll be without her little son.”

Jin thinks about it, he thinks about almost everything, even ponders where Kazuya will live and sleep because Jin’s room is big enough and they'll go to school together and Kazuya's mother won’t be sad at all.

“She has more three sons, maybe she won’t even notice?” Jin says, full of hope, but his mother just sighs deeply, while his father is still laughing.

Jin was just a child when he learned his first life lesson: you just can't have everything you want.


End file.
